the GAY analogies
by platform-shoes12
Summary: in which the two engage in a contest on who can give the BETTER  or was it the worse?  analogy and ends up doing...things. SASUSAKU


**the GAY **_**analogies**_

-by platform-shoes12

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It all started that day when she decided she has had enough of him ignoring her.

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_"That's it!"_ She slammed her hands, palms down on the desk attracting the attention of the students around them. "You are _worse _than e-mail."

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The man she was trying to attract slowly turned, looked at her, and raised a finely shaped eyebrow.

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"No. Let me rephrase that," she gritted her teeth, "E-mail is _so much better_ than you."

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The man remained silent.

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"Well?"

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"…"

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"Aren't you going to ask what I meant by that?" She asked impatiently when the silence started to drag. She tapped her feet on the floor to emphasize her mood.

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He sent her an amused look. "You are going to tell me anyway."

She narrowed her eyes further. "NOT _really_."

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He sighed and decided to humor the girl. "Fine. Sakuraaa," he drawled out her name, "what do you mean by that?"

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"By that," she scratched the back of her head in irritation, "I mean e-mails are better than you, _Sasuke-kun_, because at least _they_—inanimate as they are—HAVE _attachments_."

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"?"

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"...and _you _DON'T."

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He laced his fingers together and sent her another amused look.

"I have attachments. You're just saying that because I'm not paying you enough attention."

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She gaped at him. _He DID NOT. _She resisted the urge to stomp her feet. _How DARE he insinuate that she's some kind of an attention-whore? _She closed her mouth and looked away.

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"_So what_ if I do?"

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She heard him sigh. "You're like an eleven-year-old muggle waiting for a letter from Hogwarts."

She turned to look at him. "Which means?"

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"You're expecting something that won't happen."

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She gasped and clenched her fists in indignation. "If you _must _know, Sasuke-kun, Petunia Evans received one! Only, it's not an invitation. But that's _not _the point! She's a muggle and she _received a letter_. You're analogy is _faulty_."

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"And you're logic is implying that _me _paying attention to _you MORE _can happen."

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"Damn straight, it does. See? You're paying attention to me now." She grinned.

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Sasuke's left brow twitched. "Have I ever told you how you're like a bunny?"

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"Why? Because I'm cute?" _Well who would've though Sasuke-kun could be so…_

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"No. Because you're two front teeth is so big."

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…_mean and romantically retarded._

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The girl's smile of victory turned sinister. "And have I ever told you, dear Sasuke-kun, how you're most likely going to be a eunuch?"

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"Is that even an analogy?"

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"No. It's a threat."

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"Well your threat is like Naruto's brain." He inclined his head to the direction of the blonde.  
>.<p>

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"…?"

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"Empty." To which Naruto replied a _very dignified_…"Huh?"

"No, it's not."

"His brain is not empty?"

"No. His brain is empty. My threat is _not_."

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Sasuke pushed back his chair, walked a few steps and stood _too close _to a reddening Sakura. "You wouldn't really act on the eunuch threat," he inclined his head.

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_What a cocky bastard _Sakura inwardly thought. _What a cocky, sexy bastard_.

"Uh-huh and why would that be, Sasuke-kun?" She was supremely proud of her voice which remained steady.

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He leaned forward until his lips were near her ear. _Damn goosebumps._

"Because it wouldn't be in your best interest." He smirked, winked at her, and walked away.

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Leaving Sakura rooted to the spot with her face red.

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><p><em>Two Months Later<em>

The new couple finally pulled away from each other.

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"Wow, Sasuke-kun…that kiss was like…dango." She pulled her shirt down and tried to smooth out the newly made wrinkles.

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"?"

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"It was sweet, you idiot." She giggled. He snorted. "Seriously, Sakura, you make _gay _analogies."

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She huffed. "Fine then. Let's see _you _give a _NOT GAY _analogy about it."

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He raised a brow. _Is she actually challenging me? _"It was like…vacuum."

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She tapped her foot impatiently. "Why, pray tell, was it like a vacuum?"

"It…" He turned away to hide the blush that crept _traitorously _to his neck, "sucked the breath out of me."

_-crickets chirping-_

_1…_

_._

_2….._

_._

_3….._

Sakura finally burst out laughing. _Seriously, vacuum? That was so…_

_._

_._

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_LAME._

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The Uchiha boy scowled at the girl. What was so funny? She started this analogy thing. She should be thankful he's _even _playing this with her! "Let's see you top _that_."

When Sakura finally sobered up. _Vacuum? _She let out the last of her giggles and said. "It was like a wool sweater."

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"I have a feeling this is going to be even _more_ gay than your last…"

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"It was soft and warm." She finished dreamily.

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"…and I'm right." He sighed in exasperation. "and for your information, Sakura, I do _not do _soft _and _warm. That doesn't count. Give another analogy."

She pouted. "How should I come up with another analogy when I kind of forgot how it's like!" She bit her lip and fidgeted before looking up at him from under her lashes, "Remind me?"

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Sasuke smirked. Oh. He'll be _more than_ happy to.

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-Just so she can remember and therefore give a new analogy, of course. It's not like…he's fond of kissing her. **No.** He's doing this because _she asked_ for it. _Really_. Nothing else.

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><p><em>Two hours later…<em>

Sakura sat up, hair messed up and clothes wrinkled beyond repair. She was a little dizzy from all those…she blushed.

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"I'm sure you have been thoroughly…reminded." He smirked. She flushed an even deeper shade of red.

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"Fine then. I'm not sure if this analogy is _not _gay though."

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"…?"

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"The kiss was like…you."

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He glared at her. "I'm not _gay, _Sakura"

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She grinned and clapped her hands together. "Well _finally! _Finally, the analogy I've given is _not _gay."

She planted a quick kiss behind his ear. "As I was saying," She planted another kiss on his neck, "the kiss was like you," and another to his jaw, "Sasuke-kun." She smirked and her lips finally landed on his.

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_Delicious._

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><p>-fin<p>

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><p><strong>platform-shoes12's note: There was a power interruption and suddenly I don't know what to do. I'm bored and this was born. I hope it isn't too cheesy. <strong>

**I hope you enjoyed the story. Review! ^_^**


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